The State Stump

Monday January 22nd, 2001 | Issue 1 | State College, PA, Zang!

Penn State has a Men's Basketball Team

By Jane Sorbitol


	Sharif Chambliss attempts the rumoured-to-exist 3-point shot early in the first quarter.

UNIVERSITY PARK, PA-- A stunning announcement last night by Penn State's Athletic Director Robert Gatner confirmed that Penn State does indeed have a Men's Basketball Team.

Speaking to an unenthusiastic crowd of 2 students at the Bryce Jordan Center, Gatner said that Penn State has had a basketball team for the last 87 years. He said that it is time for the students and fans to realize this.


	Self-described Number 1 Fan Shelly Desmond has been to a record three Penn State home games in the past four years.

Last year, a grand total of 6 PSU students were at attendance for Penn State home games. "I think the problem here is not that the team hasn't been ranked in the top 25 for numerous years," Gatner explained, "But that most students are unaware that PSU even has a team."

The leading scorer for Penn State, Joe Crispin, said that he was not surprised that fans do not realize that Penn State has a basketball team. "Before Penn State offered to pay all the money for my education, I didn't realize Penn State had a team either."

The basketball team had used this offseason to practice essential skills such as dribbling, shooting, and passing, in addition to learning that there is such a thing as a three-point shot.