STATE COLLEGE, PA-- Less than a week after the Pennsylvania House of Representatives passed an amendment to cut the university’s appropriation, a group of Penn State students have begun an independent fund-raising program. The project, started by free speech advocate Anne Phillips, has a very specific goal: to raise twice the amount of money that Rep. John Lawless (R-Mongomery) wants cut from Penn State’s appropriation.

Anne Phillips clashes with John Lawless. "Like, whatever Senator, talk to the palm."

             The fund-raising effort is a direct response to Lawless’ amendment, which will potentially subtract $9,520 from PSU’s allowance. Lawless has said that amendment 102-95, or “watch me be a huge asshole, by John Lawless”, is a symbolic gesture against sexually explicit student events. After he realized that he is powerless to threaten students or hinder their careers, Lawless decided to punish the entire school instead.

             "I know what wrong is,” he said, and added that events intended to educate have no place on a college campus. “College students should be busy learning how to become upstanding members of society, not discussing important issues that they have been forced to deal with because of previous generations.”

             Phillips has explained that the money raised by the Students Against John Lawless fund will be used to produce various free speech programs that he would most likely find offensive. “If we have any money left over, we will also try to get Lawless an operation to remove that huge stick he has crammed up his ass,” Phillips added. The fund will be relying mainly on student and alumni contributions, but Phillips remains optimistic about achieving the goal of $19,040. “I’m sure there are enough students and alumni that are outraged that an amendment has been drafted to punish the entire university for the actions of only a few students,” said Phillips. “Besides, think of how many games of Orgasm Bingo that would fund!”

             In response to the fund-raising effort, Lawless has stated that if it is successful, his next bill would prevent any Penn State student from getting hired anywhere in the United States.