UNIVERSITY PARK, PA-- To coincide with the beginning of the 2001 football season, the Faculty Senate unanimously passed legislation to expand Penn State's anti-booing policy at home football games this year. According to the new policy, fans who boo will immediately be tossed out of the University, and any alumni caught booing will have their diplomas recalled. However, The State Stump has learned that there is a grass roots movement to "boo-urns" any bad plays, in place of the now illegal booing. This "boo-urns"-ing exploits a loophole in the legislation that only prevents booing.

              Law enforcement officials, however, have vowed to mace the hell out of anyone using "such preposterous hippie gibberish" during this weekend's competition. To pay for the additional police presence at the game, Penn State will be raising the price of all concessions by $3. University President, Graham Spanier, had this to say: "We feel that the long lasting benefits of these fine Pepsi products are well worth the price increase. I would like to personally thank Pepsi Co. for the privilege of using their expired products everywhere on this campus. I would also like to send out a ‘boo-urns’ to Tom Ridge for refusing to give us any money again.” After delivering this statement, President Spanier was immediately maced for using the aforementioned hippie gibberish.

             In addition to more strictly enforcing last year's measures, fans will not be allowed to boo any protesters who interrupt the football game. A group of students are already planning to interrupt this Saturday evening's game to protest this "way bogus" amendment. "We're sure glad this anti-booing policy is in place, so that we can get our message across to the fans of how terrible this anti-booing policy really is," said protester Alice Childress (junior - English).

             Another piece of legislation under consideration looks to prohibit any cheering during the game. Fans will be asked to nod their heads approvingly after a great play instead of boisterously hooting and hollering: something that could give Penn State an unfair "home field" advantage. Faculty members also expressed concerns that such cheering may also disturb any Scholars doing their homework at the game. A final bill, on whether or not to ban the wave, is still being debated by the faculty.