STATE COLLEGE, PA-- Recent quotes by Blue Oyster Cult member Sandy Pearlman, who stated that he's "afraid of dying" have caused many music fans to rethink how they live their lives.

             Lifelong Blue Oyster Cult fan Donald Moore and webmaster of "IDontFearTheReaper.com: Blue Oyster Cult rules!" was shocked by Sandy's comments. "I was just checking out Rolling Stone cause they had this big feature on them recently, like a 'Where Are They Now?' type deal. Anyway, they were all talking about what they're doing nowadays, and Sandy was talking about how his one relative had some terminal illness. Then he was like "That's scary shit what my cousin went through. I think about my mortality all the time now, I'm so afraid of dying."

Gene Simmons, whose lyrics to Shout It Out Loud include: It doesn't matter what you do or say / Just forget the things that you've been told.

             "What the hell is that all about!" Moore screamed. "He sang a whole song about not fearing death! Then he turns around and says this shit. My whole life is meaningless. I would go shoot myself, but the idea of facing death kinda freaks me out now."

             Similarily, KISS fans across the world are doubting their partying ways.

             "For the last 25 years, I've rock and rolled all night and partied everyday," said longtime KISS fan club president Devon Lurland. "Now after this Blue Oyster Cult scandal, I've looked at my life and said, 'Whoa. Maybe if I stop rock and rollling all night and partying nonstop, I wouldn't be living in my parents' basement.'"

             Even living legends like Eric Clapton aren't escaping the public's eye. Clapton biographer Roger Dilger noted that Clapton has no police record, despite the fact he claimed he shot, and possibly killed, the sheriff. Dilger has faith in his hero however, adding, "It's possible he got leniency for not shooting the deputy."

Above: Freddy Mercury, who also appropriately penned the Highlander theme, "Nobody Wants To Live Forever."

             All these doubts have caused fans to be wary of their favorite band and their dubious claims. Not everyone is surprised, however. Rock historian Julius Barnes is more shocked that the general public did not figure this out sooner. Barnes went on a mini rage when asked for commentary:

             "Look, all I gotta say is Mick Jagger. When Satisfaction came out, everyone was like 'No wonder, look how ugly he is!' Then he starts banging Marianne Faithful. Look people, I hate to break it to you, but Foreigner didn't give a fuck what love is about, A-ha doesn't want to take you on at anything, Dave Matthews is a pussy so he most certainly didn't do it, Bon Jovi doesn't live on a prayer, just his millions and millions of dollars, Whitesnake probably wasn't feeling love..more likely cocaine and/or heroin, REM would be freaked out just like everyone else if the world ended, and Queen aren't the champions. Freddie died for God's sakes...well, I guess Another One Bites the Dust worked out, but even so."

             Not all is lost, though. Music fans can take solace in the fact that many people, including Meatloaf, consider 2 outta 3 to be not bad, not bad at all.