State College, PA-- Peter Weiss (super senior-DUS) came to the realiziation this week that the Division of Undergraduate Studies program, which he has been enrolled in for 10 semesters since choosing the major as a freshmen, isn't as great as he previously thought.

The exterior of the Grange Building, where DUS staffers "advise" indecisive students.

     According to the Penn State DUS website, students enroll in DUS because they realize they are not ready to make a decision about their academic direction. However, Weiss, a super senior who has been with the DUS college since 2003, has accumlated 225 total credits and still has no clear guidance about which path to enroll in. If and when Weiss does make a decision, he still remains a minimum of 74 credits away from achieving accreditation in any major. Read more...

University Park, PA-- As many a graduating senior has learned, when a student matriculates from Penn State, it is not long before they are given a chance to continue paying for their education above and beyond the countless tuition and boarding bills they have already racked up. This opportunity most often comes in the form of a nice-sounding lady on the Lion Line requesting that you consider a donation to your favorite school [PSU]. Read more...

Philadelphia, PA-- A 2008 Penn State football season that should have ended with a championship trophy will end instead with roses.

     Closing out their season in Beaver stadium, an unrivaled sports venue that the Lions have vigilantly defended at least since Los Angeles was little more than a graveyard for sabretooth tigers, the mood was bittersweet as Penn State pounded out a win over the Trojans of Michigan State. Read more...

Los Angeles has often been told by friends, "If you love Pete Carroll so much, why don't you marry him?"

Los Angeles, CA-- The passage of California's Proposition 8 in the November 4th election has had heartbreaking consequences for more than a few residents of the Golden State. The new law, which defines marriage as a union between a man and a woman, is a reversal of the state's previous policy. The change has forced many couples to change their plans, as same-sex marriages are no longer recognized in the state.

     Perhaps most significantly, the entire city of Los Angeles has been forced to put on hold their planned marriage to USC head coach Pete Carroll. Los Angeles had previously planned to marry the coach on December 21st, during the brief downtime between the end of the regular NCAA football season and the beginning of the bowl schedule. Read more...