UNIVERSITY PARK, PA-- Undergraduate Student Government president Matthew Roan announced earlier this week that the Penn State student government had finally finished drafting the long-in-development party foul legislature. The rules dictating the assignment of and punishment for party fouls had long been enforced only as an informal unwritten agreement of courtesy between party-goers.

             Matthew Roan commented on the necessity of adopting a standard set of rules. "Prior to this new legislation, party foul rules had been primarily made up on the fly. There was a general understanding, but we felt something should be really be set in stone."

             The list of party fouls that came about prior to the implementation of the new standard included such festivity-oriented mishaps as spilling one's beer, stepping on someone's foot, or urinating anywhere other than pre-designated urination areas.

             However, confusion would often arise when an incident was in the notorious "party foul gray area." Ambiguities often stemmed from incidents in which the cause, nature, or perpetrator of the mishap were unclear. Misconceptions also abounded concerning where party fouls overlapped with state and federal law. Thankfully, the student body can now put all that behind them.

             The USG has been working on the new bill since April 1998, and after several revisions, has finally drafted a version that they are confident will solve party foul problems. Among the new specifications are an automatic double party foul for any incident which leads to the staining of furniture or clothing. Carpet stains will remain a single party foul. Double party fouls will also result when glass is broken indoors or somebody's piece is gotten all up in.

             Students expressed mixed reactions to the new standards. "I mean, I appreciate that suckas will now think twice before gettin' all up in my piece, but on the other hand I don't want to get a double party foul just because I threw a beer bottle against the wall." said Kyle Henderson (junior - chemistry).

             While the changes may seem strict, some of them actually make the party foul system more lenient. For instance, accidentally throwing a beer pong ball down a girl's shirt, commonly thought to be a party foul, will now only result in a sarcastic "smooth move."

             Agreements were also made with state and federal law enforcers to determine whose jurisdiction a party foul should fall in. Any party-related incident which results in death will be prosecuted as homicide, unless the perpetrator offers an apologetic "my bad," in which case only a double party foul will be assigned.

             Current USG regulations requires a student who reaches a cumulative 10 party fouls over the course of a year to be blacklisted. Being blacklisted will exclude a student from all parties, whether they be held at apartments, frat houses, or bars. Blacklisted students will however be allowed to play bingo at the HUB, and after 6 incident-free months may apply for reinstatement as a partying member of the student body.