UNIVERSITY PARK, PA-- Following a long and grueling campaign, Justin Zartman and Amanda Hudnall emerged as the USG president and vice president elects. They are now set to begin their term as useless, self-absorbed puppets.

Above: One of the controversial, allegedly misleading butterfly ballots that had nothing to do with Wednesday's USG election.

             Zartman and Hudnall were able to fight off five other tickets to win the election by a margin of only 90 votes. They won with 1,289 of the 5,674 votes cast on election day. There was some controversy regarding the result, however, as apathy, which overwhelmed all candidates with an astounding 35,850 non-votes, went unrecognized and uncompensated. Year after year, apathy is inappropriately brushed aside, despite being the clear winner of the USG election. Many students were outraged and felt disenfranchised after the results were announced. Read more...

Mrs. Parker's 5th grade class displays the spoils of their looting, which followed Tuesday's 'Red Rover' disturbance.

             At Fairmount Avenue Elementary School in State College, police forces in full riot gear were called in when a game of ‘Red Rover’ got dangerously out of hand. The crowd was made up of approximately 45 students, with ages ranging from 10 to 12 years old. After ordering the students to disperse, police had no choice but to fire canisters of tear gas into the crowd, sending the youths fleeing as officers struggled to make arrests. Read more...