UNIVERSITY PARK, PA-- In a shocking display of apathy, the collective staff of The State Stump agreed Friday to postpone the next issue of The State Stump until after the approaching spring break. The decision meant that Monday, the usual release date for the newest issue of the State Stump, would hold no new update for the on-line satirical newspaper, based at Pennsylvania State University.

Rebecca McCready and Jane Sorbitol may be soaking up the rays on the beach in Cancun, Mexico this week, but they certainly aren't writing any articles for the satire-hungry masses.

             Of the decision to postpone the next issue, Billabong Laudensmith commented "Its not that big of an adjustment for me, since I never write anymore anyway." Rebecca McCready voiced similar sentiments, saying "I only write one article every 3 or 4 issues so its not a big deal for me to miss an issue."

             Webmaster Dimitri Valentino said that there may be some downtime for the site. "I probably won't be paying as close attention to the site as I usually do, so there might be some downtime. Hell, I might even forget to copy the logo over to the temporary server so the site might be logoless for nearly a week! The links probably won't even work! It'll be madness!" Valentino was later institutionalized.

             The State Stump is expected to return with its regularly scheduled issue on Monday, March 12th, 2001.